Call to Women

By Kristina Dean
Parishioner, St. Joseph’s Church, Philadelphia

Years ago when I was on the cusp of adolescence and adulthood, during one conversation with my father, I informed him of an observation I'd acquired. Men and women are different, I told him. We think differently and we communicate differently.

You are probably thinking - no kidding, right?

I remember, as he listened patiently, I lectured to him - telling him that men tended to be blunt and to the point, speaking directly about the matter while women tended to talk around the matter, perhaps in a more subtle sense, leading into the conversation of the desired topic in a "round-a-bout" matter. I'll give you a visual. Think of male communication symbolized as a straight arrow, and women's as a circle.

As I grew older, I forgot this piece of, may I say, wisdom. Years of living in the world gave me a hair-trigger when it came to women's rights. I was quick to jump to the offensive, often being quite competitive in proving women are the same than men. At the smallest sign of not being treated the same, I exploded into a self-justified ball of women's rights. I mistakenly believed that the sexes had to be the same in order to be equal.
And because of this, I struggled with the concept of being a woman in the church, of being like Mary. I believed that there was no way I could be like her - I could not identify or find a role for myself as a Catholic female.
I found myself wandering in dark territory. In my mistaken belief, I thought the church was telling me that I had to be subordinate, to be less than a man. I told myself that the church was old-fashioned, chauvinistic.

So, while exploring a ministry-type course for women - called Women of Grace, created by EWTN's Johnnette Benkovic - I was very surprised when it informed me that men and women are equal but different, and not only physically. Our very souls are different. According to Johnnette, "Our femininity is as inherent to our souls as it is to our bodies." Our gender reveals and defines us. As women, our bodies' abilities mirror our soul's. We, as life-bearers, are also meant to bring spiritual life to others.

This brings me to our special responsibilities and role for the world. Our Council Fathers said in the closing speeches of the Second Vatican Council:

"Reconcile men with life and above all, we beseech you, watch carefully over the future of our race. Hold back the hand of man, who, in a moment of folly, might attempt to destroy human civilization....Women of the entire universe...you to whom life is entrusted at this grave moment in history, it is for you to save the peace of the world."

Blessed Pope John Paul II in his writing "Mother of the Redeemer," spoke about the call of women as well:
"In the light of Mary, the Church sees in the face of women the reflection of a beauty which mirrors the loftiest sentiments of which the human heart is capable: the self-offering totality of love; the strength that is capable of bearing the greatest sorrows; limitless fidelity and tireless devotion to work; the ability to combine penetrating intuition with words of support and encouragement."

These beautiful words express how the church views us, and more importantly - our role. We are called, like Mary, to carry God to others, to bear spiritual life to our world - to be a source of help, healing, and new life. We are spiritual mothers. We are meant to bring joy, love, laughter and healing into lives of those who are in need of it. As conduits of grace, our delightful role is to escort others to God's path.

Using the Blessed Mother as our pattern and model, we are called to be obedient to God. Oh - how hard I find that sometimes!

Obedience - a difficult word for me. I think before we can wrap our minds around it, we need to first master another word - trust. If we can find it within ourselves to trust God, then obedience becomes easier. After all, if we trust that God does everything in our best interests (and sometimes our best interests are not what we want, but what we need), then we can start to bring our minds around to obeying Him. And obeying Him is not being led like a dog on a collar. Obeying is choosing to follow what God wants for us, trusting that it will bring us to everlasting life with Him in the end.

Ladies - we are called to take our place next to our brothers and husbands - as equals who are unique in what we can offer to the world. Our divine task is to make our hearts and souls conveyors of spiritual life - we need to infuse all the world with peace and love.

May we as women find the strength to follow our Blessed Mother's example of bearing God to our families, friends and communities. May we trust God's plan and in faith take a step forward to fulfill our beautiful role as Catholic women of the Church.

Kristina Dean, the author, is shown with Four of her ‘Women of Grace’ friends who made a pilgrimage to a Fatima shrine near Buffalo earlier this year. From left are Kristina, Denise Betterman, Kim Nowak, Gail Patrick and Rose Perkins.