July 2, 2014

By Kristina Dean
Staff Writer

Learning to ride a bike was hard for me. A clumsy kid, I had no sense of balance and an overwhelming fear of falling. I was probably difficult to teach. Lots of patience was needed.

I remember my parents bought me a beautiful, BIG purple bicycle. I wanted to ride it badly. For weeks I had scraped knees and hands.

Finally my dad took pity on his clumsy daughter and offered to help. He’d run behind me, holding up my bicycle with one strong hand. I’d hear his footsteps and feel confident I wouldn’t fall.

To this day, that memory is strong in my mind. My father’s footsteps. His presence, holding me up. Protecting me.

A dad’s role in his daughter’s life is so important. Every relationship she has with a male will be measured against it. Part of her sense of self-worth is related to it. If she is blessed enough to have a good father, as I was, then she can experience a small piece of heaven, as our heavenly Father’s love is mirrored in her earthly father’s love.

My dad, while not perfect, was a great dad.

Growing up, he had a difficult relationship with his own father, who passed away before my parents were married. Much of what I learned about my paternal grandfather is from my mother. My dad didn’t talk about him.
Apparently, my grandfather never told my father or his siblings that they were loved. Ever. So, when my mother was expecting me, the firstborn, my dad vowed to her that he would be different. His children would never wonder if they were loved. He vowed to hug them, play with them, love them. They would never wonder about their place as a cherished son or daughter.

My dad was a good as his word. I have pictures of him on the floor, holding me high above his head, smiling and acting as silly as can be. There are pictures with funny hats on his head, with inflatable bears hanging over his shoulder, handkerchief “bunny rabbits” he made talk with funny voices.

Every picture showed his absolute delight in me. I knew I was loved unconditionally. Our Heavenly Father’s love is much the same way. It is unmeasurable. He treasures us. We are his joy.

I loved my dad so much. Through him, I saw a small slice of how to love others. He gave me a pattern to follow. Through our conversations, I could see how important his faith was to him. Together, we discussed scripture passages and what it would have been like to live when Jesus was alive. We visualized paradise.

We pondered the question of animals going to heaven (as a little girl, I insisted I wasn’t going to go to heaven if my beloved dog wasn’t going to be allowed in, either). We were amazed together at God’s gift of creating this beautiful world for us.

As a meteorologist, my dad’s eyes, which always contained wonder and awe, were focused on the heavens. We would gaze at the clouds, and he would quiz me on their type and names. His favorite word was “fascinating.”
Years later, when my own children were born, I saw the same joyful, loving man, now a grandfather, play with his grandchildren. Nothing was too silly for him. He would allow his grandsons to put funny clown noses on him, he’d mess up his hair and put on a ridiculous face.

Years later, as my father lay dying in the hospital, in pain and knowing things weren’t going well, he made my then four-month-old son Alex, giggle a great, big belly laugh. He also laughed out loud in delight. “I made him laugh, I made him laugh!” he shouted.

After his death, at his calling hours, more than 1,200 people came to pay their last respects. I heard stories of how my father impacted their lives positively. They said, ‘he listened to me when I was upset. He hugged me when I cried. He told such funny stories and jokes. He was so special.’’

A nurse from radiology, who’d only known him a few weeks, gripped my hands tight, telling me what a wonderful man he was. I never knew so many people experienced him and the joy he carried within.

Dad, I didn’t know it then, but what a wonderful example of a father’s love you were. You were a mirror, a reflection of God’s love for his children, for everyone. You are still teaching me. Although I am no longer a little girl learning to ride her bike, I still feel your absolute and unconditional love for me, holding me up, never letting me fall. Protecting me.

God, both spiritual and physical, radiate your unconditional love for their children.

Kristina and her dad at her college graduation