Nov. 11, 2015

By Kristina Dean
Staff writer

Watertown - Despite a shattering and tragic event that took the lives of their six-year-old daughters, God’s grace and love strengthened the faith of two Newtown, Connecticut, mothers.

Spreading their message of trusting in the Lord, relying on Him during tough times, and being open to His graces, Sandy Previdi and Jenny Hubbard spoke to approximately 100 people at Immaculate High School during a stormy and windy evening, October 28.

They are the mothers of Caroline Previdi and Catherine Violet Hubbard, best friends who died nearly three years ago in a mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown.

Mrs. Previdi emphasized their message was not to focus on the tragic nature of the event.

“We choose not to dwell on the evil act, but to focus on the blessings we hold tight to,” she said. “We will see the girls again. Until then, we make sure we are open to doing what God needs us to do.

“We allow God to use our suffering to be blessings to help others,” she said.

Best friends in heaven
Before they began, both mothers referred to a picture projected on a screen, showing a picture of their daughters at school, smiling with their arms slung around one another.

They were inseparable in life, and they are now together in heaven, Mrs. Hubbard said.

“We are joyful because the girls are in heaven together,” she said. “There is no better comfort. We miss them every single day, but we hold tight every single day until we see them again.”

Mrs. Previd described praying on her knees two weeks after Caroline died. In the midst of her tears and prayers, God told her that Caroline was fine and with Him, and assured the grieving mom that He would be there for her as well.

“Peace came to me then. Peace that I shouldn’t have had two weeks after she died.” Mrs. Previdi said.

Focus on eternity
The event, while tragic and shattering, has made their faith stronger, said both mothers. Mrs. Previdi said it gave them an eternal focus.

“We are able to be more focused on eternity, not things of this world,” she said. “When the girls died, they took their love to heaven with them, not their clothes or things. When I get to heaven, I want Catherine to say, ‘Mommy, I’m so proud of you,’”

Mrs. Hubbard said, “God lays someone on my heart because He needs to use me for them that day. Four years ago, I’m not sure I would’ve seen God’s blessings every day, but now I do.”

Catherine’s mother described a recent “heaviness” on her heart during her birthday this year. “I woke up and said I was fine, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

“I know she is happy, but I miss her and it hurts,” Mrs. Hubbard said. “I pray, dear God, I wish she were here with me on my birthday. Every time He meets me on my knees. I give the heaviness over to Him and he gives me peace and strength.”

Strength from scripture
The women referred throughout the talk to various scripture passages, starting with Proverbs 3:5-6 which states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.”

This became important to them as they dealt with their daughters’ deaths, and the aftermath.

God prepared their families, Mrs. Previdi said, and they chose to “lean into Him.”

“We had a choice to make when the girls died,” she said. “We started allowing God to comfort us, and began trusting in Him that He would provide us with everything we need. Jenny and I have been on our knees asking, ‘Why? why?’ but we know He knows what’s best for us.”

Raising other children
Trust became important to them especially as they decided how to raise their nine-year-old sons, both of whom were in the building during the shooting.

The families went into protective mode, Mrs. Previdi said, and were vigilant in shielding their sons.

Mrs. Hubbard said that after her son, Freddy, changed to a different school, he started calling home during the day. He didn’t want to go to school or be around friends. She described her son slipping away.

“I trusted the voice that said, ‘I am here for you. Lean into me. Be still and I will not forsake you.’” she said, and described praying for her son every day.

Eighteen months later, on Easter, Freddy stopped pretending and putting on a brave face. He began to tell his parents that he missed his sister and he started leaning on God as well, Mrs. Hubbard said.

“God knits our lives into part of a big tapestry,” she said. “All we can see are the knots, but God is weaving the other side into a beautiful creation.”

Craving prayer
Mrs. Hubbard said she craves prayer and the scripture every day. There are so many stories in scripture where God is faithful and He has blessed his people.

“We have held tightly to these promises every day. He has not left us on this earth alone,” she said.

Mrs. Previdi described going with family on vacation to the ocean, six months after Caroline died. She said that her mother was watching her son, Walker, in the ocean and was afraid to let him out of her sight in fear that she’d lose another grandchild.

She described talking to her mother:
“God is with him, walking with him,” she told her mother. “God doesn’t want us to live in fear. He has so much joy He wants to give us.

“Satan is the one who wants us to be frozen in fear,” she said, “I don’t want to live life in fear, and I don’t want Walker to live in fear. Trust in Him. He is in control.”

Mrs. Hubbard said she faced that choice the day she sent Freddy back to school January 5, about three weeks after the shooting.

“It was the first turning point,” she said. “We (she and Mrs. Previdi) marched the boys to the bus stop and kissed them goodbye, saying ‘you’re going to be fine.’ We are not going to live in a state where our boys live our fears.”

The women spoke for approximately 45 minutes, then took questions from the audience.

Both mothers have created foundations in their daughter's’ names.

The Caroline Previdi Foundation provides support to children who lack financial resources for extra curricular activities.

The Catherine Violet Hubbard Foundation supports projects and programs that reflect and honor her memory including CVH Animal Sanctuary, Cornell Veterinary Medical School’s Shelter Medicine Scholarship, Catherine’s Peace Team and Catherine’s Cups of Kindness.

The event was organized by Terry Burgess, who originally contacted St. Rose of Lima church in Newtown in 2013 to arrange for the church to host the IHC Mystery players in Lent of 2014.

“I felt we could bring a powerful message to their community as they dealt with the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy,” he said.

The Mystery Players performed at St. Rose in 2014 and 2015. During the last visit, Religious Education Director Pam Arsenault suggested that two of the mothers speak to the group of players. Eventually, arrangements were made for them to visit the home of the Mystery Players, IHC.