Home Page Home Page Events Events Photos Photos Diocese of Ogdensburg Home Page  
Follow Us on Facebook

Archives Editor's Note

'I'm not very good at Christian love'

By Darcy L. Fargo

Darcy Fargo

December 19, 2018

Christmas is the season of love. It’s when we celebrate that God loves us so much, He sent His Son to the world to save us and give us eternal life.

It’s also when we share our love with the people closest to us, sharing gifts with family, friends and beloved colleagues.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, borrowing a line from St. Thomas Aquinas, says “To love is to will the good of another." Reflecting on that concept, I discovered something: I’m not very good at Christian love.

Often, in the context of a friendship or relationship of any type, I’m instinctively looking for reciprocity. If I do a favor for a loved one, I often find myself expecting that favor be returned when I’m in need. That’s not willing the good of another, it’s willing the good of another with the expectation that they’ll do something good for me.

That’s not love.

If you had asked me several months ago, I would’ve told you my marriage is a 50-50 partnership. Lately, however, it hasn’t been so balanced. As I struggled with my recent health problems, my husband kept our family and household running. The balance was tipped. Instead of both of us carrying the load and dividing duties, and supporting each other equally, he had to handle almost everything, including providing care for me. The split was closer to 95-5.

The same is true in friendships. While it would be awesome if our friends could be available to help and support us every time we need them, that’s not always possible. Sometimes, there’s an imbalance. Sometimes one friend needs the other more. Sometimes one has more – more time, more emotional energy, more resources – to give.

It’s those times when love is imbalanced, the times when someone needs us but can’t give anything in return, that we show real love. And isn’t that the most important gift we can give?

Speaking of gifts, as we celebrate Christmas this edition, I’d like to thank you, the readers of The NCC, for your continued support.

Your kind notes, Christmas cards, compliments and even occasional criticism have been gifts to me this year. I cherish them,

On behalf of myself, Editorial Assistant Christine Ward, and all the NCC columnists, contributing writers and photographers, The North Country Catholic wishes you all a merry and blessed Christmas.

North Country Catholic North Country Catholic is
honored by Catholic Press
Association of US & Canada

Copyright © Roman Catholic Diocese of Ogdensburg. All rights reserved.