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More often than I’d like to admit

By Darcy L. Fargo

Darcy Fargo

January 20, 2021

It happens to me far more often than I’d like to admit.

I made a plan. I took steps to put the plan into motion. I was doing some difficult work, but it was paying off. My plan seemed to be unfolding better than I expected.

Then, everything fell apart. An unforeseeable set of circumstances developed that made executing my plan impossible.

To say I was not thrilled was an understatement. I was pretty upset. I was venting about the situation to an older and wiser friend.

“I hear a lot of ‘I’ in what you’re saying,” my friend said. “I think it might’ve been your plan, not God’s plan.”
My friend was right.

This is one of my biggest struggles in my journey of faith – surrender. I’m very good at being self-reliant. I rely on my intellect, humor, charm and knowledge gained through life experience to make plans, make decisions and move through life. Sometimes I pray about my plans and decisions and try hard to follow God’s will. Sometimes – most of the time really, if I’m honest – I don’t.

I want to be in control. I want life to unfold according to my plan.

Maybe that’s why God gives me these reminders that He’s in control, not me.

Those reminders can be painful, but they can also be blessings.

As I indicated, I was upset when my plan fell apart. I was angry and sad. But reflecting on my friend’s wise words and praying more about this situation, I’ve also found some peace in the fact that God is in control. If this plan is meant to work out, it’ll happen on God’s time and on God’s terms, not mine.

Accepting that as the week went on has brought me peace. I can worry less about the situation now that I truly know it’s not mine to worry about.

But I know how this usually plays out, too. God reminds me He’s in control. I’ll struggle and then see graces in the situation. I’ll try very hard to surrender to God’s will for a while. But the more removed I get from the reminder, the more likely I am to slip into my old habits of self-reliance and feeling like I’m in control.

I’m pretty sure that’s why this happens to me far more than I’d care to admit.

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