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Living with the filth

By Darcy L. Fargo

Darcy Fargo

March 24, 2021

It’s pretty gross.
The exterior of my Jeep is completely coated in that disgusting mixture of road salt, mud and whatever else splashes off the roadways and other vehicles. If I accidentally brush up against it, I instantly become coated in road grime. The back-up camera on my Jeep has been useless for weeks.

Full transparency? The interior of my Jeep is also a mess. I spend a lot of time in my car. A lot of time! I eat and drink in my car. I spill things in my car. I drop things in my car. I have a bad habit of tossing napkins, receipts, empty food packaging and other stuff onto the back seat to make room for a passenger.

I’m also convinced it’s not worth taking it through a car wash on a warmer day. It’s just going to get coated with the disgusting road-grime cocktail again, possibly the same day. I am equally convinced I don’t have time to fully clean the interior either.

I know I should clean my Jeep. Over time the salty grime is bad for the paint job. I know those loose items in the back can become projectiles in the event of a collision. I know I should clean it, yet I continue to live with the filth.

Recently, as I was wiping off the road grime my Jeep had deposited onto my black pants and thinking about the fact that I really should wash it, it occurred to me that my views on the Jeep and its disgusting condition are like my views on sin and confession.

Typically, I go to confession once a month. That doesn’t mean I’m especially holy. It means I’m especially efficient at sinning.

Every once in a while I go longer between confessions. Sometimes much longer. I sometimes get this feeling like, “why bother? I’ll be in a state of grace for about 5 seconds and I’ll sin again.” Or, “hey, I’m on a run here. Might as well continue adding to my sin list.” Bad! I live with the filth.

While I’m still trying to keep my positive Lenten practices, I’m also spending time this Lent reflecting on my relationship with sin and confession. I’m really going to try to not deviate from my “confession every month” practice moving forward. It makes me more aware of areas where I need to improve. Admitting my weaknesses to another human being and to God makes me humble. And I am forgiven. That’s the best thing of all.

I’m still not committing to washing my car, though.

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