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‘Far better than worse’

By Darcy L. Fargo

Darcy Fargo

April 21, 2021

As I read through and wrote the stories for this, our edition celebrating vocations, something struck me:
While there were many accounts of the joy and graces experienced as a result of following God’s call, not one of the individuals interviewed indicated following God’s call made their lives easy.

Life is hard. Following God’s call for each of us is also hard.

I’ve written about my husband, Adam, at least a handful of times in this column. While I didn’t revisit every column, I’m pretty sure everything I’ve written about him so far has been positive. While I’m confident we have a strong marriage and love one another deeply, it’s not all sunshine and roses.

Adam sometimes does things that irritate me (I can think of a number of times there’s been sawdust or foam particles all over our dining room or kitchen because of some weird project he was working on). I sometimes do things that irritate him (I can think of a number of times I’ve left pieces of thread or tiny scraps of fabric all over the dining room or living room because of some weird project I was working on). We’ve had disagreements over parenting and household decisions. We’ve faced other trials.

Despite the irritations, disagreements and trials, I often think back to words uttered by Adam’s best man in his toast at our wedding reception: “May for better or worse be far better than worse.”

It has been far better than worse.

I’d like to think part of that is because we both know we were called to this marriage by God, and we know we’re both dedicated to serving God and serving one another, and helping one another be better, holier people. Knowing that, we find graces even in the moments that aren’t so awesome. Sometimes, the grace is as simple as knowing that we’re committed to one another and love one another even when we don’t particularly like one another in a moment. There is also grace in the joy, humor, compassion, care and love we share.

Marriage isn’t easy. I’m pretty sure no vocation is easy. Priests face struggles and hardships. Consecrated religious face struggles and hardships. Single people face struggles and hardships.

But when we’re following the Lord and his call for our lives, there can be peace and grace even in those struggles and hardships.

God has a plan for each of us. When we work with him to discern that plan and follow it, I think most of us would say it’s “far better than worse.”

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