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Is it a healthy relationship?

By Darcy L. Fargo

Darcy Fargo

Aug. 25, 2021

“According to the definition of the podcast I was just listening to, we have a very healthy relationship/friendship,” I wrote in a message to my best friend. “Their definition of a healthy relationship is one where the involved parties can have conflicts or disagreements and can voice painful truths, and the relationship isn’t broken and still functions.”

I love my best friend. While she’s not “religious,” she exhibits Christian love better than almost anyone I know. She’s insightful, she’s caring, she’s generous almost to a fault, she’s hysterically funny, and she loves strongly and with little or no thought of what she’ll get in return.

That having been said, my best friend and I sometimes drive each other nuts.

We sometimes disagree. We sometimes inadvertently hurt each other’s feelings. We sometimes have difficult conversations about the ways we can better support one another or at least avoid hurting one another.
Even when we’re driving each other batty, we love each other deeply, and we can be totally honest with each other.

Frankly, I can’t imagine my life without her in it.

Thinking about our friendship, especially after interviewing the newly ordained Father Pier Giorgio of Christ the King (see the full story here), got me thinking about my relationship with the Lord. The new priest spoke of his draw to the Carmelite charism and his desire to be “a friend of Jesus.”

While I can say to my best friend, “this situation really upset me, and I’m hurting,” I struggle to say similar things to our Lord.

While I know in my head that Jesus loves me no matter what I do or say, including if I’m hurt, upset or struggling, I don’t necessarily act like I believe that in my heart.

I have a habit of keeping our Lord at a bit of a distance, I’d say.

With that in mind, I’m going forward this week (and hopefully longer) trying to focus on growing my friendship with the Lord and sharing every part of myself with him, including the difficult parts, and the parts that are hurt and struggling.

Because I’d like to have a healthy relationship with Jesus, too.

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