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There’s a reason for the tears

By Darcy L. Fargo

Darcy Fargo

Oct. 19, 2022

I desperately tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. A single tear escaped and streaked down my cheek.

Why was I crying? Get ready to laugh at me!

I cried because of spiders.

In fact, I cried while asking a friend to remove the spiders from my space.

I hate crying. Hate might not be a strong enough word, really. I loathe crying.

While I try to convince myself it’s ok to cry, the way I react when it happens makes me aware that there’s still a part of me that believes crying shows weakness.

I’m embarrassed when I cry. I was especially embarrassed that I was crying over a bug, and I immediately began apologizing to my friend.

“I realize this is ridiculous,” I said. “I’m really sorry.”

“Do not apologize for this, Darcy,” my friend said. “God made you this way. We all have something that scares us.”

I thought about my friend’s kindness and his response later.

“Why would God make me terrified of something that isn’t going to hurt me? This makes no sense to me,” I thought.

While I may never know conclusively, reflecting on that part of my nature, the part that cries over spiders (and rodents, by the way), I have a theory.

God knows that I like to think I’m fiercely independent. I like to think I don’t need help. That feels like a sign of weakness to me, too, sometimes.

Then God sends along a few spiders. Suddenly, I am not independent, and I can’t function without help. And I cry.

God reminds me that my weaknesses are necessary to remind me I can’t go it alone. I can’t be fiercely independent. I need God and I need others. I need their support, companionship and help.

And I need those reminders over and over again.

But I do not need any more spiders.

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