Editor's Note It can be both By Darcy L. Fargo

January 15, 2025

“It’s the hardest part of what I do, but it may also be the best part of what I do.”

I said something like that to someone I consider a trusted adviser as she asked me about writing this column.
The very next day, it was both.

In the morning, a reader called to chat with me about something I wrote. It was a lovely conversation, and it makes me smile any time I get to have a conversation about loving Jesus. Those moments are the best! They are blessings!

Four hours later, I was staring at a blank page with no column idea. After almost two hours of writing a few sentences and then deleting a few sentences, I was getting frustrated.

“Doing this is so hard,” I thought.

While I sometimes find that duality – that burden/blessing aspect – maddening, this week, I actually found it helpful.

I’m going this weekend on a silent retreat. People have used a lot of adjectives to describe me over the course of my life, but not one person has ever used “silent.” I’m never quiet. I love good conversations! I love music and media. I even talk to myself or make little sound effects while I read or write. I intentionally spend short times in silence, but I don’t like it, and I’m not good at it.

I’m nervous about this retreat, scared really. I’m convinced silence is going to be difficult for me, and I fear how I’ll handle that.

My bigger fear, though, is in knowing that God tends to call me to hard things when I spend a lot of time listening to Him. In that silence, God would have lots of room to call me to forgive someone I’m struggling to forgive; to let go of anger I sometimes cling to like my life depends on it; to make a bold change in myself or in my life; or to try a new way of serving Him…

Part of my fear is thinking I don’t have the capacity right now to take on any challenging thing God might put on my heart in the silence.

All of these fears were kicking around my head as I sat in front of the blank screen where my column is supposed to be.

That’s when God made me think about the duality in my column, about how a multitude of blessings have come with and because of something I find so hard.

I think God wanted to remind me that if He calls me to do something I find hard, He’ll bless me with everything I need to do it. He’ll be everything I need to do it.

And that’s the best part.