January 22, 2025 “I’m scheduled to go on retreat in a couple of weeks, but I think I’m going to back out.” I said that to my son, Jake, as we drove home from Potsdam, about 35 minutes from our home, where we had eaten dinner after attending a Saturday vigil Mass not far from that community. While I booked the retreat nearly three months before, this was the first time I had mentioned the retreat to him. In fact, I mentioned it to a couple of people when I first booked it, but I hadn’t really spoken about it sense. Why? It was mostly because I was leaving open the option to back out, and even though I’m a big chicken sometimes, I don’t want other people to know that. I gave Jake my litany of excuses: It’s too close to Christmas and our Texas trip; I shouldn’t be taking a trip right now. Winter in the northeast can mean dicey road conditions, and it’s a long drive. I had commitments at home. And, I admitted, I wasn’t sure how I felt about going on a silent retreat. His response sealed my fate. It was something to the effect of: “I’m glad I have a mom who wants to do stuff like this. I’m glad you’re taking care of your spiritual needs and taking time to spend with Jesus.” I was going on retreat. Now, still processing the experience and continuing to experience graces and gifts from it, I agree with Jake, and I’m glad he has a mom who wants to do stuff like this. The retreat was peaceful, prayerful and restful. It was a gift and a blessing to have an opportunity to just sit with Jesus silently and openly. There were also moments of distraction, as were there moments of Jesus disrupting my peace by drawing my attention to those areas of my life where I could serve him better and calling me to action in those areas. There were lots of both of those. But even those distractions and disruptions came with absolute love for me where I am now. I’ve spent a lot of time tending to my physical and mental health lately, but I had been giving less attention to my spiritual health. Jake reminded me how important it is to feed my relationship with Jesus. I’m glad he didn’t let me back out. |
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