March 11, 2026 “I need to write a column, but I’m not feeling very Jesusy right now.” While Jesusy is a made-up word, my friend knew exactly what I meant. I’m guessing you know what I mean, too. I’m fairly certain we all have or have had times in our lives when we feel or have felt consumed by feelings that are not very Christlike, be it rage, despair, envy, jealousy, lust, pride or something else. Being consumed by those emotions doesn’t feel very good. I wasn’t feeling very good when I told my friend I wasn’t feeling very Jesusy. I’ll be honest: I have a bad habit of allowing myself to be ruled by my emotions, especially when I’m feeling angry or hurt. I’ve been counseled by a priest I perceive as being pretty wise that the emotions themselves are not sinful, since they’re gut reactions we don’t exactly choose. It’s what we do with them that can become sinful. But, sadly, I’m very good at sinning. Because I’m particularly talented at sinning, I try to go to confession regularly. As I was spending time with Jesus this week and praying for the grace to surrender my big emotions and tough circumstances to Him, it occurred to me that there’s a sin that I don’t regularly confess but I very regularly commit. I regularly violate the First Commandment. The First Commandment tells us, “I am the Lord your God; you shall have no other gods before me.” I’ve historically looked at that and thought, “well, I’m not out there worshipping Zeus or anything. I’m good on that one.” Yet there I was allowing my negative emotions to rule my thoughts and actions, letting those negative emotions drive me. I was letting my big and negative feelings be the god of me. I would love to sit here and say that I’m not going to do that anymore, but I also know my sinful nature is pretty strong, and it’s likely going to take a lot of grace and a lot of work to let Jesus overcome my big feelings and my big mouth. But I can say I’m very grateful to God for revealing to me this particular aspect of my sinful nature. And I pray for the grace to allow Jesus to take the place of those big, negative feelings and to feel and be more Jesusy. |
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