Editor's Note   It certainly wasn’t my will By Darcy L. Fargo

September 2, 2026

It wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

Both of my hips are what I refer to as “aftermarket parts” – both have been replaced.

My right hip is fantastic. It’s easy to forget it’s not my original parts. The left hip, though, has never been completely right. Since the replacement, I don’t have the constant pain I had before the surgery, but I have persistent muscle weakness that has left me with an awkward gait.

I did a couple rounds of physical therapy. I started going to the gym and regularly strength training the affected muscles. While the gait dysfunction is less pronounced, it’s still there.

I followed up with my orthopedic specialist. I heard, “some hips are just like that. You should stop lifting heavy weights.”

I didn’t like that answer. So, I got a second opinion.

“With the approach used on your replacement, they go through (the affected muscle). Sometimes it heals well. That seems to be the case with your right hip. Sometimes, it just doesn’t. That seems to be the case with your left. But you’re fine to continue lifting heavy.”

While I was thrilled with that last part, the rest of it was kind of devastating. I at least made it to my car before I started crying, but I cried off and on for most of the three-hour drive home.

And here we meet my biggest struggle as I try to allow Jesus to help me get to heaven: I stink at surrendering my will to God’s will, and I stink at accepting God’s will when it differs from mine.

Hip dysfunction certainly wasn’t my will.

I get the distinct impression that accepting God’s will when it differs from our own is a common struggle. While I find it maddening in some ways, I also find it somewhat odd that I continuously choose to be upset and fight God’s will when doing so does nothing but make me sad, bitter and/or angry.

It seems crazy that I choose sadness, bitterness and anger over God’s will.

I’ve spent the last 10 days praying for the grace I need to accept God’s will both for this specific issue and in general. I pray for that grace for all of us.